I have arrived. I am home.

In a strange way, I feel very settled here, as if I've been here for months. Yet Moscow is still incredibly unfamiliar.

Having spent so much time in Europe and in a range of different parts, I didn't think I would experience any remarkable culture shock coming back to Europe. Sure, there plenty of places here I hadn't yet seen (notably Eastern Europe or any former Soviet state), but I assumed the culture and people would be at least identifiable. And yet, while the city and people did initially appear familiar, Moscow is very a new experience for me and in a word, foreign. To a lot of people (and to myself, to a certain extent), that's an intimidating thought. But it's also as much as I could ask for. In my life (and at the risk of sounding cliche), I've found stepping out of your comfort zone into something completely fresh and new, even alien, reveals more to you about the world and yourself than any other experience.

Disclaimer: I love Western Europe. I think it has immense beauty, culture and depth, and I can personally attest to having some amazing life experiences in some of the countries there. But I wonder, how different is the culture than the United States really? In the scheme of things, not much I'd say. As Americans, look at where our ancestors come from (scroll about 2/3 of the way down to the "Ancestry" section). Not any surprises in that top 15, right? Western Europe is fun for us to visit (no more links, promise) because it feels familiar. It's where we come from. We can relate to it, our history is entrenched in it, and it is recognizable and native to us. Obviously that's a big attraction to many Americans, but for me, I've been around the block a few times. I thought it time to try something new. To challenge myself.

And thus I find myself, in Moscow, Russia. Perhaps not as distant as the Orient or Africa, but it is still the furthest from home I've ever been. The places I'd moved to before (San Diego, San Luis Obispo, Graz, back to New York) had all felt very new at first, but never took too long for me to acclimate to. These places revealed many great new things to me, but in retrospect were hardly too outside "ordinary" for me. For the week and a half I've been in Moscow, I've been expecting to gain that quick sense of familiarity and warmth* and comfort, but it's been fleeting and elusive. Part of this has been my inability to explore as much during the week because of my busy work schedule as well as the fact that I only know a handful of people here. But I'm beginning to realize a major reason for this semi-isolated and uneasy feeling is that moving here was a bigger step into the unknown than I thought. And that is incredibly exciting to me. 

The concept of starting over for a few months scares and exhilarates me. At this point in my life, I fully embrace change and I would hate to stagnate or plateau. I am now in a place where I think I can learn something that I wouldn't have before, staying in my happy Brooklyn box. Russia is an enormous and complex country, and Moscow is a direct microcosm of that. I've gotten my footing here and I am anxious, motivated, intimidated, energized and ultimately excited to continue exploring here. Outside of work, I have no direction and I'm perfectly OK** with that. 

Since my last update, I've gotten a broader perspective of the city. Here are some extensions of my previous observations:

• I mentioned before that commercialism and consumerism were rampant here. The more I thought about it, the more I think this comes back to the fall of Communism here (of course). When the Soviet Union fell, the carpet was essentially pulled out from underneath the people in a very real way. Wanting to distance themselves from their past, Russians clung to anything different and new. With the freedom to buy whatever they wanted, people made up for lost time and started spending freely and thus, an intimate attitude towards consumerism was born. In a way, Russia is now a very young country, still finding it's identity and culture. Now everybody wants a slice of the pie, hence the overwhelming focus on shopping/fashion, technology and driving (everybody drives here). That's the modern way, and it is rooted in the rebirth of the country.‡ 

• I also mentioned that people (particularly older people) have a way of not looking you in the eye and simply looking straight ahead at all times. This has to do with the old ways of Communism as well. Cultural exploration was dissuaded, so people minded their own business and kept to themselves. This tendency of older people to stick to their old traditions actually revealed a really fascinating juxtaposition between the old and new generations here. When young people notice you here-- whether it be because you are ravishingly handsome, speaking English loudly or simply because you caught their eye-- they will burn a goddamn hole in you with their eyes.They don't play that subtle eye game that people play on the subway in New York when you pretend like you're not looking at someone but you're totally checkin' 'em out. They let you know they're interested in some way. And I think this difference is representative of the city as a whole and the clash between the old and new cultures is something to behold. One of my favorite observations so far.

• The food. Right. So I would say I'm fairly open-minded when it comes to food, even a "foodie" at some points. I expected to dive right into the local cuisine and eat like a Russian while I was here. The thing is, Russian people don't really eat traditional Russian food. I've seen more McD's and English-style pubs here than I have Russian restaurants. Most people I've talked to rarely eat the stuff. I think it's because Russian food is kinda, well, weird (I lied about the links. Just click it, it's relevant. Even if it is a BuzzFeed article). It has a very old fashioned feel to it, like these dishes have truly been around for centuries. But I can actually say with a straight face that I enjoy it. It's very reminiscent of the culture, and I like that. Disappointingly, they don't really drink that much vodka either. I'm gonna still act like they do, though.  

At the risk of boring or overwhelming you, I will write a second part to this post about some of the things I've been up to. I want to take some time to edit the pictures I've taken as well. Plus, I'm tired˟. I will share with you my favorite picture I've taken thus far.

Hopefully you can get a sense of what it's like living here, from my perspective and in general. As you can tell, I'm still figuring this place out and it mystifies me in a great way. Understandably, it gets lonely venturing in the unknown by oneself but the sense of adventure mostly drowns that out. And besides, I have you guys to share my experience with. 

From Russia, with love,

Eric

§ Recommended listening:
Yo La Tengo- Fade
Darkside- Psychic
Future Islands- On The Water
 

*Not talking about the weather. It's actually been mostly pleasant since I've been here.
**A Russian person told me that the world "okay" came from a Russian phrase or something. Seems relevant. I have no idea if that's true.
‡ Just my thoughts, not necessarily true. Remember that.
˟ I'm 8 hours ahead of the East Coast, which means a full 11 hours ahead of you West Coasters. 

§ Music has definitely already contributed immensely to my experience here, so I'm gonna feature a few relevant albums on each post. Feel free to give 'em a listen. 

The title and subsequent picture in this post comes from a publication by Thich Nhat Hanh. I'm not familiar with his work nor am I Buddhist, I just think it's cool.